In my spring philosophy class that you will
generally hear me complain loudly about, I heard a word that I really liked.
Now, it would be important to note that I have an addictive personality, and I
became obsessed with the word zeitgeist.
I’ve most commonly heard it defined as the “spirit of the times.” It’s the ideals that define a certain period
of time. Evidence of the zeitgeist can be found in several facets of culture:
from fashion to art to literature to politics. Since 2000, Google has created
these annual “Spirit of the Times” videos based off the top searches for the
year. I’m quite fond of them. Here’s this year’s:
I decided that I
too would like to analyze my themes for 2012, try to define my own personal
zeitgeist. If you don’t care to take a peek deep into the crazy mess that makes
up my soul, then you can stop now. This is much more for me than for you, so I
assure you I will not be offended. Also keep in mind that these things aren’t
necessarily from 2012, but they impacted my year of 2012.
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| Beautiful Bellingham Fall with my good friend Ethan |
One
line that has resounded with me since I heard it earlier this year was “It’s
never been a question of if we will fall. The question is how we pick ourselves
back up again when we do.” That’s what this year has really been for me—picking
myself back up. I would say that 2011 was an incredibly traumatizing year for
me in a lot of ways, and 2012 was about making sense of that and struggling to
find what makes me come alive again. I’m not here to say that what I struggle
with is any more or any less valid or difficult than anyone else. But overall,
I just really struggled. A lot of the struggle was with self definition and
overcoming major character flaws. Or at least coming to terms that they are
there. I had a lot of failures, heart breaks, a bit of culture shock, empty
bank accounts, tears and dark moments. But at the same time, there was a lot of
joy. Chinese fire drills, forts on my living room floor, I saw Jon Foreman in
concert (a personal hero of mine), surprise visits from friends who live
faraway, homemade meals, renewed promises, opportunities, liberating road
trips, free midnight limo rides. Green ink and tiny handwriting have proven to
be my saving grace. Tender mercy has defined this year. It’s very humbling to
receive so much that you don’t deserve in the slightest.
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| Jon Foreman in concert last spring. Check that off my bucket list! |
This
year I was also handed a lot of responsibility I was not remotely prepared for.
From organizing monthly regional activities for my church, to working with the
university’s risk management department, to accompanying a high school choir. Thankfully,
I have advisors and leaders who have a lot of faith in me and showed a lot of
patience during the buffer time. I have some great teams to work with too. Words
cannot describe the feeling of someone seeing potential in you. I hope to
someday be someone who will also see great things in small beginnings and help
inspire someone to reach their goals. Because for me, that made all the
difference.
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| This woman made a huge impact on me this year. |
I’ve
noticed that we make a habit of overglorifying busyness. “We” meaning
Americans, Latter-Day Saints, college students, young adults, or just humans in
general. We think if we’re busy it must increase our worth. We think being busy
is the equivalent of being productive, when in fact the opposite is probably
truer. But there is a balance we have to keep. I’ve crashed and burned many a
time trying to do too many things. So my goal from here on out is to do just
enough things to keep myself from being idle, but doing few enough things to do
them well. I would much rather be available to my friends and family than to be
too overscheduled to be called on in times of need. I intend to prioritize my
time doing things that matter, being busy doing good.
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| Chinese fire drill buddies. Seriously some of my favorite people. |
A lot of my
struggle from 2012 was with friendship. I learned that your best friends aren’t
the ones you’ve known the longest, aren’t always the ones who were there, but
the ones who inspire you to be better. Your best friends not only laugh with
you, but cry with you too. Not just the ones who will call you at 1am in the
morning just because they missed your call from the afternoon before, but the
ones that hear your struggles and accept you in all your flaws. The ones where
you don’t have to watch your sexist jokes around and you can be bluntly honest
with. The ones who surprise you by doing the dishes or scraping off your car on
a frosty night. The ones who open the door for you and trip you as you enter to
make sure you don’t take yourself too seriously. The ones who go out of their
way to see you and invite you even though they know you already have plans that
night. Dear reader, I just want you to know that there is a difference between
your “peeps” and a support system.
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| This woman means the world to me. Elyssa Louise, how I love you! |
It can be a painful lesson to learn, but
it’s a valuable one. That isn’t to
diminish anyone’s individual worth. It isn’t about loving anyone any less. It’s
about real, meaningful, deep friendship and doing whatever for the sake of
being in someone’s presence. Your best friends will make the time. It’s nothing
to be upset about. This world is full of some really wonderful and fantastic
people. Too many for one lifetime. So prioritize and know when to hold on and
when to let go.
On a lighter
note, a milestone in my year 2012 is that Pinterest replaced StumbleUpon. I
learned that I really have a deep love for running, reading, dancing, teaching,
serving, and leadership.
Here are some videos that impacted my 2012, either because it's beautiful, hilarious, or super applicable to me. I assure you, they're each very worth your time.
My favorite songs of the year 2012 were...[the songs, not necessarily the videos]
Apparently this was a year for one-word titles too. At least I'm consistent, right?
Last, but not least, a little tumblr action that kept me pretty entertained for months on end: The Celebrity Ninja Turtle Noses
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| Childhood bestie, dressed for success. #endoftheworldrave |
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| My Mama got her Master's! I'm so proud of her! |
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| Christmas cookies with my second family |
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| My wonderful Koinonia Sisters from my theme house this fall |
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| This kid came home! And I am very grateful for him. |
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| A brother's birthday kiss! |
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| Logan Temple from my spring break road trip |
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| A very important gift from my best friend on a mission |
Okay,
now this is getting pretty scatter-brained. Hopefully you get the idea?
In conclusion, some thoughts for the upcoming year I'd like to keep in
mind: You choose how you want to be defined and no one can
take that right away from you. Laugh a lot, be courageous in pursuing
your
potential, and keep your heart full of gratitude and your eyes full of
sunshine.
Remember your priorities and keep humble enough to listen to where
Heavenly Father
wants you—cuz it’s a whole lot better than where you think you’re going.
Thank
you to my family and friends for the laughs and tears of 2012. Let’s
make 2013
even better, k?
