Zeitgeist Twenty Twelve

          In my spring philosophy class that you will generally hear me complain loudly about, I heard a word that I really liked. Now, it would be important to note that I have an addictive personality, and I became obsessed with the word zeitgeist. I’ve most commonly heard it defined as the “spirit of the times.”  It’s the ideals that define a certain period of time. Evidence of the zeitgeist can be found in several facets of culture: from fashion to art to literature to politics. Since 2000, Google has created these annual “Spirit of the Times” videos based off the top searches for the year. I’m quite fond of them. Here’s this year’s:

I decided that I too would like to analyze my themes for 2012, try to define my own personal zeitgeist. If you don’t care to take a peek deep into the crazy mess that makes up my soul, then you can stop now. This is much more for me than for you, so I assure you I will not be offended. Also keep in mind that these things aren’t necessarily from 2012, but they impacted my year of 2012.

Beautiful Bellingham Fall with my good friend Ethan

                One line that has resounded with me since I heard it earlier this year was “It’s never been a question of if we will fall. The question is how we pick ourselves back up again when we do.” That’s what this year has really been for me—picking myself back up. I would say that 2011 was an incredibly traumatizing year for me in a lot of ways, and 2012 was about making sense of that and struggling to find what makes me come alive again. I’m not here to say that what I struggle with is any more or any less valid or difficult than anyone else. But overall, I just really struggled. A lot of the struggle was with self definition and overcoming major character flaws. Or at least coming to terms that they are there. I had a lot of failures, heart breaks, a bit of culture shock, empty bank accounts, tears and dark moments. But at the same time, there was a lot of joy. Chinese fire drills, forts on my living room floor, I saw Jon Foreman in concert (a personal hero of mine), surprise visits from friends who live faraway, homemade meals, renewed promises, opportunities, liberating road trips, free midnight limo rides. Green ink and tiny handwriting have proven to be my saving grace. Tender mercy has defined this year. It’s very humbling to receive so much that you don’t deserve in the slightest. 

Jon Foreman in concert last spring. Check that off my bucket list!

              This year I was also handed a lot of responsibility I was not remotely prepared for. From organizing monthly regional activities for my church, to working with the university’s risk management department, to accompanying a high school choir. Thankfully, I have advisors and leaders who have a lot of faith in me and showed a lot of patience during the buffer time. I have some great teams to work with too. Words cannot describe the feeling of someone seeing potential in you. I hope to someday be someone who will also see great things in small beginnings and help inspire someone to reach their goals. Because for me, that made all the difference.

This woman  made a huge impact on me this year.

                I’ve noticed that we make a habit of overglorifying busyness. “We” meaning Americans, Latter-Day Saints, college students, young adults, or just humans in general. We think if we’re busy it must increase our worth. We think being busy is the equivalent of being productive, when in fact the opposite is probably truer. But there is a balance we have to keep. I’ve crashed and burned many a time trying to do too many things. So my goal from here on out is to do just enough things to keep myself from being idle, but doing few enough things to do them well. I would much rather be available to my friends and family than to be too overscheduled to be called on in times of need. I intend to prioritize my time doing things that matter, being busy doing good.

Chinese fire drill buddies.
Seriously some of my favorite people.

A lot of my struggle from 2012 was with friendship. I learned that your best friends aren’t the ones you’ve known the longest, aren’t always the ones who were there, but the ones who inspire you to be better. Your best friends not only laugh with you, but cry with you too. Not just the ones who will call you at 1am in the morning just because they missed your call from the afternoon before, but the ones that hear your struggles and accept you in all your flaws. The ones where you don’t have to watch your sexist jokes around and you can be bluntly honest with. The ones who surprise you by doing the dishes or scraping off your car on a frosty night. The ones who open the door for you and trip you as you enter to make sure you don’t take yourself too seriously. The ones who go out of their way to see you and invite you even though they know you already have plans that night. Dear reader, I just want you to know that there is a difference between your “peeps” and a support system. 

This woman means the world to me.
Elyssa Louise, how I love you!

It can be a painful lesson to learn, but it’s a valuable one.  That isn’t to diminish anyone’s individual worth. It isn’t about loving anyone any less. It’s about real, meaningful, deep friendship and doing whatever for the sake of being in someone’s presence. Your best friends will make the time. It’s nothing to be upset about. This world is full of some really wonderful and fantastic people. Too many for one lifetime. So prioritize and know when to hold on and when to let go. 

On a lighter note, a milestone in my year 2012 is that Pinterest replaced StumbleUpon. I learned that I really have a deep love for running, reading, dancing, teaching, serving, and leadership. 

Here are some videos that impacted my 2012, either because it's beautiful, hilarious, or super applicable to me. I assure you, they're each very worth your time.

 My favorite songs of the year 2012 were...[the songs, not necessarily the videos]

Re:stacks

Resolve

Blood

Flaws 

Change 

Apparently this was a year for one-word titles too. At least I'm consistent, right?

Last, but not least, a little tumblr action that kept me pretty entertained for months on end: The Celebrity Ninja Turtle Noses

And now some more pictures!

Childhood bestie, dressed for success.
#endoftheworldrave

My Mama got her Master's! I'm so proud of her!

Christmas cookies with my second family

My wonderful Koinonia Sisters from my theme house this fall

This kid came home! And I am very grateful for him.

A brother's birthday kiss!

Logan Temple from my spring break road trip

A very important gift from my best friend on a mission

Okay, now this is getting pretty scatter-brained. Hopefully you get the idea? In conclusion, some thoughts for the upcoming year I'd like to keep in mind: You choose how you want to be defined and no one can take that right away from you. Laugh a lot, be courageous in pursuing your potential, and keep your heart full of gratitude and your eyes full of sunshine. Remember your priorities and keep humble enough to listen to where Heavenly Father wants you—cuz it’s a whole lot better than where you think you’re going. Thank you to my family and friends for the laughs and tears of 2012. Let’s make 2013 even better, k? 

Sunday Will Come.

                It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The sweet scent of spring break still lingers in your conscience and the bright hope of a semester finishing in just a few short weeks. The glimmers of sunshine that the temperamental weather allows, like a promise of “the best is yet to come!” The days of some of the sorest goodbyes, but also the happiest of hellos. The days of summer planning and brisk morning jogs and countless weddings and engagements. Where stress and the temptation to play Frisbee outside both reach a climax simultaneously. Spring is pretty fantastic, but this is not to what I reference.

                This week is dubbed “Holy Week,” starting with Palm Sunday when the Savior entered Jerusalem and concluding with Easter morning. I feel the power of the Spirit more powerfully imprinted on my heart during this week than any other time of the year, stemming back from those early years playing the Easter Cantata under the direction of an inspired choral director. It’s the opportunity to reflect on Christ. For us to remember. Easter goes much deeper than the sacrifice. It goes deeper than death. The celebration of Easter is not about the cross nor is it even about what occurred at Gethsemane. It’s about grace, love, empowerment and an empty tomb. This truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

                Throughout this life we develop so much death and darkness in our souls just from being on this earth. We have pain, regrets, and misfortunes that infect our very essence. It attempts to crack our testimonies and eat at our divine nature. It’s corrosive and subtle and subtracts hope from your life, demolishes your self worth. Try as we might, we cannot break free of our own strength. It is this very pain and these shadows—that’s why Christ came. He suffered and atoned for us. Not just to make us clean, but to make us whole. To enable us to be better. He doesn’t wash us clean and then push us back out there to fend for ourselves. He washes our filthy feet and picks us up off the floor and carries us to where we need to be, training us to walk when we have the strength. He died to give us life, to give us hope, to break bonds and free us of addiction and vice. He doesn’t just want us to live without sin, he wants us to live abundantly.

                I think baptism is beautiful. To be completely immersed in water and come up suddenly clean, with that victorious splash as you are pulled up out of the water. When we are completely immersed in the water, surrounded by darkness, when the sounds of life are muddled, that represents death. Though important, I would wager that full immersion is not the most important part, just as the most important day is not Good Friday. It's that Easter morning, breaking through the water and rising again. And may I emphasize that you do not bring yourself out of the water? There is that strong hand on your back that brings you out of the water for our own personal resurrection.That's what grace is, and let me assure you, it is indeed sufficient. 

                “Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come.”

This is an excerpt from one of the best talks ever written, by Joseph B. Wirthlin. 

I guess the point I’m wanting to get across is that I want to understand the real Easter message. I want it to "click" in my life, yearround, not just Holy Week. I want to be grateful that someone loves me (and you!) enough to die and atone for all the sins I’ve committed and who has gone to the depths to understand exactly what I feel and experience. But most importantly, I want to live my life empowered by the atonement. Live life brighter, be better. I don't want to accept merely “clean,” but sparkling, because Christ cut every bond that is holding me back.

To answer Job’s timeless question: “If a man should die, should he rise again?” And the resounding question through all creation and eternities is: Yes. The fingerprints of God are everywhere if you look for them, and throughout everything is threaded the ribbon of the Atonement. If I know nothing else, this I know deep in my bones. Christ arose. He conquered. The grave could not hold him, and through Him, we too can be conquerors.

Happy Easter everyone. Next time you see those crosses that spring up every Easter in decorations and cards, do me a favor and close your eyes and imagine instead an empty tomb. Because that's what it's about. A dear friend once said "I don't wear a cross necklace to show my faith in Christ. And they don't make empty tomb necklaces, so I guess I'll have to live my life in a way that shows I know the reason Christ died and that I know for a fact that He lives." I hope you all have wonderful celebrations with your family and loved ones! 

Confluence.

It’s been a long draught for this blog of mine. It has been lingering on my to-do list for weeks, but I could not resist the once in four year opportunity to post on the 29^th of February. So even though I am up to my ears in lab reports and philosophy reading, here I am doing what a college student does best: procrastinating. 

But to the advantage of all you eager readers sitting at the edge of your seats, I will tell you I got home safely to spend the holidays with my family and loved ones! The transition back was hot and cold, but I think I’ve gotten into the swing of this whole “a-MER-icah” thing. I may write more about this later, but right now I’m going to talk about Lyon.

This was one of my favorite places to visit. There are several factors that go into an opinion of a city. I have a theory that one’s experience depends 30% on where you came from, 40% who you’re with, 20% trip preparation, and 10% of the experience of the place itself. It’s all relative, and it’s hard to define. But let me try to explain what I mean:

Where you came from: If you’ve never seen a waterfall, your first one is always incredible. But if you’ve seen Iguazu Falls, anything else that claims to be a waterfall isn’t too impressive. 

Who you’re with: I loved being in Lyon because I was with two charming Australian girls, one who knew her way around the city very well and another who is just the best travel companion ever. But I remember other trips to amazing places and being less than enthused because I didn’t feel connected to the company. It’s always nice to surround yourself with people who keep you laughing, help you grow, accept you for who you are, and at least one person who knows what’s up. 

Trip preparation: do you know where you’re going? Do you have that handy-dandy student trip advisor that will take you to cheap Michelin-style restaurants that will give you a genuine gourmet experience? What museum will give you the best bang for your buck? What history do you want to touch with your fingertips? If I had known half the history of all the cathedrals and cities I had the privilege to see… But retrospect is 20/20. 

The experience of the place itself: Lyon is an amazing city. It is clean and pulsing with life. It has the most beautiful fountain ever, my favorite cathedral up on a hill. The sunshine came out to warm my soul also that day too. I think the most beautiful aspect of Lyon though is that it has two powerful rivers coursing through it: the Rhone and the Saone.  

I am really drawn to rivers. They are so powerful and full of meaning. Many metaphors have been inspired by their coursing paths, but my current fancy is by a certain Heraclitus: You could not step in the same river twice. That is things are always changing and nothing will be the same as it was. I remember this when I miss France because if I go back, it will be different than when I left. And I certainly experienced this when I came back. Three months is not a long time, but Spokane is different. My family is different, my dorm is different, and my ward is different. But probably most importantly is that I’m different.  But the beautiful thing is that the river of experiences I had in France can flow into the river of the life I left behind. Their confluence is significant and beautiful, just as the many confluences to come will be vital and noteworthy as well. 

But when the crashing waves of those two rivers smooth out and the flow of everyday life in what one could call “home” calms, I find myself humbled and grateful.   

hello Pend Oreille.

Noël comes anon.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Okay, so it doesn’t look like the typical Northwest Christmas season. There’s no snow, the sun is still shining. And even though I have succumbed to my winter routine of the twice daily cup of peppermint tea, it's not all that cold here in the south of France. Morning jogs are still possible and people still sit and read in the park. However, based off how bundled up the locals are, this is their version of winter.

Weather aside, the Christmas spirit is rampant. Aix-en-Provence is known as the city of markets yearround, and it does have the wonderful Christmas markets to prove it. There is a main shopping strip called Cours Mirabeau. It's one of the streets connected to that beautiful Rotonde Fountain I've mentioned before. It's impossible to feel grinch-like walking down that street, lined with trees strung with Christmas lights, the sound of children laughing flowing from the kiddie rides and the smell of candied apples and waffles simmering in the air. The actual vendors are pretty neat too. There is a wide variety of gift ideas. There's the typical Provençal gifts, the stand with the massive gingerbread cakes, a magic shop (which always has a crowd of people), and a photography stand with gorgeous pictures of Aix and the surrounding region.

I really lucked out with markets though. Not only have I lived in Aix and had the opportunity to stroll through some of the most famous market places in France three times a week, but I also had the opportunity to go to the Christmas Capital of the world: Strasbourg. This city on the border of Germany has world famous Christmas markets and is dripping with touristy holiday cheer. It's really quite magical. Like going to Disneyland. I don't know what it is about electrical Christmas lights, but they just make you feel like you're in a fairyland. Yes, as my more eco-savvy friends would point out, it is a complete waste of energy. But ready for my Mastercard answer? That feeling you get when you look down an avenue strung with beautiful holiday glow is priceless!

Strasbourg is a city in the Alsace region of France. This has a lot of really interesting history, since it has been passed between Germany and France several times, and has also been conquerred by the Huns and the Swedish. Christianity was brought there by Irish monks. It is also the seat of the European Union. So it has tons of cultural influences and is quite a cute place to visit. It was here that the Gutenberg printing press was invented. Perhaps because I grew up in Spokane, through which the Spokane river flows, I have a thing for cities with rivers. Naturally, one of the factors in the aesthetic appeal of Strasbourg is the river that surrounds centre-ville. It's so pictoresque! I love the bridges.

We also visited Colmar, well known as the birthplace of Bartholdi, who designed the Statue of Liberty. This had all the Christmas charm as Strasbourg, but with fewer tourists and smaller. There was a fantastic museum there though called the Unterlinden. It took us hours to go through. There is so much there. I think the most prominent for me was the collection of early Christian paintings depicting stories of the saints and the life of Christ. They are chock-full of symbolism, and I'm appreciative for the audio guide that pointed it all out. One instance, there was a definite trend that many of the paintings had a golden background. This symbolizes timelessness. The number of symbols used to express the Virgin Mary's purity bordered on being excessive (lilies, unicorns, gardens, fences, pink, and many, many more). I am a sucker for symbolism though, and my personal favorite was in a painting of Christ on the cross. At the base, there was a lion and her cubs. Medieval tales tell that lion cubs are stillborn and are resuscitated when the mother lioness breathes on them. It represents how Christ's sacrifice is like that life-giving breath. One painting that really stuck out to me was La Melancolie by Lucas Cranach. He was buddy-buddy with Martin Luther, and this work is about his ideals. It was based not so much on melancholy itself, but on how one avoids it.  

I'm not sure how to gracefully close this entry, but I would like to return to the subject of Christmas. I am grateful for how long the Christmas season is. To me, the weeks leading up to Christmas are usually more fulfilling and exciting than Christmas Day itself. I've also learned, you can only feel a certain amount of holiday spirit basking in the glow of Christmas lights, munching on Christmas goodies, singing carols, making gingerbread houses (or Speculoos holiday creations in my case), and in gift wrapping. I don't mean to say those are bad practices. I am quite fond of Christmas traditions, but Christmas means so much more. I don't want to disrespect the meaning by making a corny concluding note, but I hope this holiday season we will be able to turn our thoughts to the reason for all this hubbub. It's more important to spend time with your family than fretting about the gifts for them. Take those quiet moments to contemplate the greatest, one-sided gift of all, directly from Heavenly Father. Try to go outside of yourself and rather give of yourself. "Love is spelled T-I-M-E." 

God bless! And Merry Christmas!